In AC, "P.C." doesn't stand for "politically correct"; it stands for "Pro" and "Con." When it comes to issues, who can say what is or isn't "correct"? Just ask a teenager. We invited four local teens to tackle the topic Environmentalism: Pro or Con? Maya Milo and David Clark are hardcore recyclers who love the Earth and all it stands for. Ilana Norwood and Ryan Foster feel that people are a very important part of the debate. Let's see who comes out on top.

Maya: Basically, being environmentally conscious is important because we're not the only beings on this planet.

David: If we tend to the Earth, we won't all wind up dead.

M: Because at the rate we're going now, with overpopulation and pollution and junk like that, we're all going to be dead in a couple of centuries!

Ilana: We may not be the only beings on the planet, but we're the only ones that matter.

Ryan: People say that oil is going to run out. That's bull. The issue is that other people want it. It will always be there for us to have. Its ours for the taking, even if it means going to war.

M: Killing people is wrong!

D: Damn capitalists!

I: Look, survival of the fittest is perfectly natural, right? And that's what all the environmentalists want: for us to be natural.

[The entire roundtable bursts out in laughter.]

M: That's hilarious. Bravo. I have no counterpoint. I have been thoroughly owned. I got ganked! Seriously, it's important for us to be able to live on the Earth. Why would we want to kill off future species and future generations? Why else do people have children?! To propel our existence! But no, people only think about the here and now! That they can do what ever the hell they want and drive their Hummers around and pollute the environment, and it'll all be okay because everybody else is doing it. Well, they are full of it. Because if we keep at it, things are going to totally decay. They already have!

I: Some things are more important than future generations. Like looking good. And allowing people the right to live comfortably if they earned it.

R: Five, six years down the line? Who cares? I drive my truck now, and I am on the Earth now. I am having a good time.

I: And those hydrogen powered cars ... do we really want all that moisture in the atmosphere?

D: Taking care of the Earth is important for all living creatures. Especially Mokers!

I: Who is Mokers?

M: His cat.

[Laughter.]

D: She's chubby, adorable, and fuzzy. And warm!

M: Being anti-environmental is being immoral!

I: Excuse me? Is it really immoral to care about the happiness of humanity? Everybody talks about how we are going to run out of oil. But you know what? We've got plenty of oil. It's just sitting there in Alaska! But because of people like you, we are not able to go to Alaska.

D: Think of the baby seals!

I: I'll eat seal burgers. I don't care. Do you know how cute cows can be? It's irrelevant.

M: Killings things just for the benefit of ...

I: Eating?! Yes, eating. That's important.

M: Some fast food companies put kangaroo meat in their burgers or whatever. Killing cute things is disgusting and selfish. It's not even heathful eating! It's convenience eating, just so suburban housewives can take their kids out and not have to spend any time nuturing them. Oh, let's get a 39-cent taco. Ooooh! They don't even give their children something healthy; they're making them fat and lazy and having to rely on a Hummer to get them around.

I: Those "housewives?" Those are working wives! If they were just "housewives" sitting on their butts, who would be going out contributing to the gross national product of our great country?

M: And sticking their kids in day care where they don't have to deal with them!

I: Hey, people who run day cares need jobs, too!

M: Look, I was raised out in Wimberley, where they raise emu, and I was introduced to the idea of "slaughter parties."

I: Oooh, Emu jerky is sooo yummy.

D: What if someone dipped your children in BBQ sauce on a daily basis?

M: Do you know how they kill those emus? About 20 people get together and bring their weapons of choice and they each go after an emu and they kill it. Whoever kills the most is the winner of the party. Then there's a big BBQ!!! I was like, "AAAAaaaaaaaaaa!"

I: It's like Emu Quake! I would bring a nail gun.

D: Did you know that the Geneva Conventions now frowns upon sharpening shovels, because it was too effective in trench digging to use them as a weapon for splitting people's skulls? That was the Germans' default weapon.

M: Republicans cause slaughter parties because they think its okay to just slaughter and take what they want. That emu has rights too, and not be killed with an effing shovel.

I: If it had as much of a right to live as we do, it would have learned how to make weapons of its own to kill us. but it didn't.

R: God willed it. If it tastes good, eat it. If it feels right, do it. Do what God wants, and you'll be okay in this world.

M: That's bull, what about "Thou shalt not kill"?

I: Yeah, did god ever say that emus were better than humans?

R: No! The commandment does not say, "Do not kill emu!" It says thou shall not kill man.

M: That's bull. There's never been any problems with people killing in the name of religion. It's basically "Thou shalt not kill someone who agrees with me." So these people probably believe that its all right to kill me.

I: Oh, that's not true! That would be going against American law. And God is in favor of that.

D: Isn't religious warfare just people fighting over who has the better imaginary friend?