Editor's note: While not yet legal in the States, vaporized alcohol is a phenomenon in Europe, catching twentysomethings up in the kind of night-club fad not seen since the now-passé oxygen bar explosion. Taking liquor and aerating it into an inhalable vapor, VA provides all the buzz of a night out with a minimum of side effects. Luckily for landlocked AC, promotions intern Wells Dunbar was able to test an alcohol aerator on spring break in Amsterdam, so we have the early scoop. AC reminds you to drink responsibly.

When someone told me you can inhale alcohol, I didn't think it was a big deal. After all, I've inhaled a case of Natty Lite in one sitting! But next to the space-cake case at Chocolat Bar in Amsterdam was this contraption – a cross between a Jager dispenser and an oxygen inhaler. I had four runs on the QUAFF V.2.1 but couldn't get a buzz at first; I was laughing so hard, the tube kept falling out of my mouth. Maybe something's lost in transcription, but why name it after a farting vuh-jay-jay? Once the laughter died, however, and I got over my initial squeamishness about sticking a tube in my piehole, it was nothing but TCB.

MALIBU

Normally I don't, but I wanted to start off with training wheels. Three shots later, I was sober as my last court date.

TIME TO INHALE SHOT: 6 minutes/10 per hour

CARBS: 0.2 per shot

CALORIES: 2 per shot

THE BUZZ: Softcore

THE PINK: One whiff took me back to Padre.

THE STINK: Malibu is for chicks and Oklahomans.

OVERALL: 3.5

SOUTHERN COMFORT

The cure for homesickness. Sugary and carmelized with a kick, it left me reeling, my lungs feeling like two glazed hams.

CARBS: 0.6 per shot

CALORIES: 15 per shot

THE BUZZ: Spice Network

BUD LIGHT: I gave my girl a "glazed ham" once, know what I'm sayin'?

LIGHT ON BUD: She returned the favor.

OVERALL: 7.5

VODKA

We were doing time trials with primo potato water when Chocolat's manager Hans let us in on something: The QUAFFer lets you moderate the levels of aeration. After signing a waiver, homeboy cranked it up to 25 shots/hour. Finally, the real deal.

CARBS: 0.2 per shot

CALORIES: 1 per shot

THE BUZZ: Max Hardcore

DOUBLE D's: It's like a night's worth of drinking in 20 minutes

DWI: I felt a flare-up in my lungs when I lit my Marlboro Light. Not cool.

OVERALL: 8.5

VAN GOGH'S EAR

I had never heard of absinthe, but after spending 25 minutes with the house special (and some nitrous), I felt like I was melting in slo-mo! It was mind blowing. And carb free!

CARBS: 0 per shot

CALORIES: 1 per shot

THE BUZZ: Double penetration

PARIS HILTON: Wicked tracers, killer alcohol content

PARIS (THE CITY): Mild lockjaw

OVERALL: 10

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We were set to try E – Everclear – next, but my quaffing partner wasn't handling the absinthe that well. If VA ever makes it across the pond, I'll learn from him and leave my Bowie knife in my Red Wings. It's all gank.